Lisa Nqala

The blog is about being optimistic, be happy with what you have done already and what you are about to do.

Wednesday, 5 October 2016

ABANDONMENT (LET ME TAKE YOU THERE)- HITTING ROCK BOTTOM


LET ME TAKE YOU THERE
You feel like you are left alone, you feel like you are fighting all by yourself, you hate, you cry without ceasing, you feel disconnected, you feel useless, you feel helpless, you are hurting, you feel like you are breathing through the pain. You ask God constantly, why He hates you so much. You compare yourself to other people and ask yourself why this thing you are dealing with is not happening to them and you start to believe that God really hates you or maybe you are just simply not His favourite. You compare living and dying. You become angry and curse God. You hate everyone who talks about God or says God loves you. You hate scriptures and urge with them. The pain, anger and hatred turn you into something that you never tough you would be. You look at yourself and you see the pain. You think of yourself, you think of the pain that you could not even describe to anyone. You feel the darkness everywhere you go no matter who you are with. When it’s hurt so must you even lose focus. Whenever you open your eyes from sleep you wake up to this darkness. You ask yourself how did everything went so wrong, you question yourself why must you feel so much pain. Is it necessary? Is it worth it? You stop believing, you stop praying, you stop eating, you stop smiling, you stop hoping, you stop being kind, you stop caring, you stop dreaming, you stop talking, you wish you could stand on top of the mountain and scream  HELP!!!

Pain is too powerful that it does not matter whether you are wealthy, beautiful, famous, educated, talented, intelligent, Kind, God-fearing etc., when it gets you, it gets you. The pain makes you think that you understand why some people behave the way they do. The pain makes you hate living. You feel like God has turned against you, you try to speak to Him but you get no answers, you can feel the distance, you beg for His presence but you feel like He denies you. You feel like you could run away from the pain but you do not know how or where you can go. The future looks so dark. You cannot rescue yourself and no one seem to rescue you. You wish you can get a big hug and a voice saying it will pass. You wish someone could tell you that you are still ALIVE. You get tired of acting like everything is Okay. The truth about it is that you cannot leave it, it leaves you. You must acknowledge it and accept it and believe in time, Time heals, that's the only thing I can say. Give it time, it will pass.

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED THROUGH THE PROCESS
When everything is still going well in your life, I urge you to, SET GOALS, write them down nicely and be clear. Have a vision of what you want in life, Dream, Dream Big, Think Big, find a passion. Be prepared before life shuts you down. Look for Role models, people who inspire you, people who never give up on their dreams, people who fight a good fight, people who fight for their dreams, people who make you believe that anything is possible. Be humble, Respect people, treat people well, and never undermine anyone. Surround yourself with positive people, appreciate and honor them. Remove yourself from negative people in time because they will worsen the situation. Learn to create beautiful memories because they will be the ones that will remind you that there is more to life than pain. You goals and dream will also give you the reason why should you hang in there. Finally pray for strength in advance.


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