Welcome to my Blog Spot

Welcome to my blog spot
My blog is about me, my experiences and other peoples experiences.
My Blog is not perfect and I don't want it to be perfect so people don't expect anything to be perfect.
My life is also not perfect and I don't want it to be perfect.

Written by Lisa Nqala

BEFORE THE BREAK UP -The Fear stage - Dear Teen#1

The fear stage
At this stage, you are still in the relationship
The fear of the unknown is ruining your life
You are so worried about what your partner could do, doing or done to you without your knowledge
The insecurities are keeping you awake at night to an extent that you end up making a decision based on your assumptions not on facts
You have pride you do not talk about your fears and insecurities with your partner to an extent that you don't even realize that you could lose your partner for good due to your insecurities
Until you get tired of those feelings and decide to face your demons
You begin to own your story
You set goals for your life
As soon as you start writing down your goals, you focus on them.
You feel excited about your goals, instead of the sleepless night worrying about what the other person could do to you, you worry and focus on what to do next for your dreams and goals
You worry about how you are going to achieve your goals:
What you need to do to achieve your goals
What you need to do more
What you need to do less
Who you need to remove in your life
Who you need to add in your life
Reviewing your daily routine
Grabbing opportunities
Creating opportunities for yourself

Written by Lisa Nqala

Before the break up - The toxic stage -Dear teen#2

When the relationship reach the toxic stage

Staying up at night tossing and turning every day because of how you are being treated in the relationship.

Begging someone to communicate with you

Begging someone's input or effort on rebuilding the relationship

Thinking about all the bad things that a person has done to you

Thinking about all the hurtful words that the person has said to you

Thinking about all the chances you have given that person

Thinking about all the day's you were waiting for a proper apology 
Thinking about how you wanted to be loved and treated in the relationship

You get to a point where you have to make a decision whether to stay and accept that kind of treatment, keep reading the same chapter over and over again, keep getting the same results all over again or face your fears of moving on, fear of people, fear of dealing with the break up, fear of feeling guilt, fear of watching that person with someone else after you have moved on.

Written by Lisa Nqala

Before the break up - Feeling Lonely - Dear Teen#3

There are two types of loneliness:
1.Being lonely with someone and
2.Being lonely by yourself
1. Feeling lonely in the relationship
that’s the worse feeling ever, sometimes you get into a relationship that makes you feel so lonely and lost. The relationship might seem as if it's only for the benefits of the other person. You are not in control of the relationship and your needs are not met. The relationship depends only on the needs, emotions and circumstances of the other person. You feel like your emotions are controlled by the other person.
2. Feeling lonely without the relationship
when you are single even though you may feel lonely sometime, but you are in control of your life and your feelings. When you are not in the relationship you happiness is clearly your business and your responsibility. You have all the time to heal yourself, you can go on a healing journey. Your mind is fresh and ready to be inspired, to learn new things and improve or choose a better life. You are in a better position to create again. You are at a better position to fill yourself up with self-love and all the good things you could not do while you were with the other person.

Written by Lisa Nqala

Before the break up - Reaching out - Dear teen#4

There is nothing painful as going through the hardest times in your life and wishing you had someone you could phone and tell that it hurts and it hurts so much.
Not having that person you can reach out to, someone that you truly trust with your pain, someone who cares, and someone who listens.
You need someone that you can go to and just cry it all out next to that person, someone who can be there for you throughout your trying time.
Crying all alone in your room is not healthy, you need someone you can sit next to while you are crying, someone who can sit next to your bed while you are not feeling like facing the world.
You need someone who is willing to be there for you, that person could be a friend, a family member etc.

Written by Lisa Nqala