Lisa Nqala

The blog is about being optimistic and being happy with what you have already achieved.

Monday, 30 May 2022

Reflecting on My Masters Degree Journey

Last year (2021) I decided that I will spend the whole of 2022 celebrating my Master's degree achievement and reflecting on my Journey. My Thesis journey was a hell of a ride but I am thankful that I can look back on my journey and be proud that I fought a good fight.

I remember the first few months when I just started with my Master's degree, it was so difficult, I faced so many challenges and I felt discouraged. I was all over the place, venting to everyone close to me.

One morning, I got up and decided to write down my own affirmation based on how I felt and the challenges I was facing. They made a really big shift in my life. Research is not difficult but the challenges we face in the journey really make us question ourselves, is this even worth it? you fight people, you fight the system, fight your own thoughts, fight mental illness due to stress and challenges but I praise God that he helped me and fought for me in all those challenges.

Here is the extract of the affirmation I wrote for myself:

I can write and complete my research proposal

I can get my research proposal approved by the institution's research committee

I can get an ethical certificate

I can finish my Thesis chapters

I can gather research data and analyse it

I can pass my research thesis examination

I can graduate with my Master's degree

I will hold my Master's degree certificate with my own hands

I will hold my Thesis book with my own hold

God will fight for me, for things that are beyond my control and above my powers.












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Sunday, 13 February 2022

FIGHT A GOOD FIGHT, FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAMS

 FIRST PICTURE AT VARSITY

I only had a matric certificate and a university acceptance letter under my name.
I was extremely shy and had low self-esteem.
I had a vision for my life.
I knew what I wanted.
I was willing to fight for it.
I was willing to be patient when I did not see progress.
I was willing to learn from my mistakes.

SECOND PICTURE, MASTERS GRADUATION(Same pose)
I have obtained:
NHC: Certificate in Accountancy,
National Diploma in Internal Auditing,
BTech in Internal Auditing,
Masters of Internal Auditing,
Two publications (research papers),
My name is on google scholar,
My name is on the university repository,
Three (3) research conference presentations and two certificates,
Accounting and auditing work experience,
Tutoring experience,
Lecturing experience.
I hope this motivates and inspire someone.
We have the power to change our situations.
#hardwork #dedication #go getta#fight for your dreams


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Sunday, 9 January 2022

Dear Teen - The truth about dating /relationships, what they do not tell you about dating. Let me take you there.


When you are not dating or delaying the dating phase as a teenager, they make you feel stupid, unattractive and tell you that you are missing out. Trust me there is no fun at all, it is the opposite, they will never tell you the reality of dating, they will tell their story in the most beautiful and interesting way, trust me do not be fooled its a trap do not make the same mistake like many people who did not know any better because there is no one willing, to tell the truth, or to warn and save the younger generation.

The reality of dating is that :

1. Living in a fairytale for a moment

Once you start dating, the first person you start dating stays in your mind the whole time, you daydream about him/her, you create the best moments in your mind, you live in visualization. You do not get time to learn about the person instead you create the person in your mind and once you realize that he or she is not the person you created in your mind and the events you created in your mind are not happening in the real world, you get frustrated, disappointed, sad and resentful. Love becomes your worse nightmare. You waste your time dealing with these emotions instead of visualizing your life and working on your goals.

2. Insecurities

Dating makes you more insecure than you were before dating. You always feel like you are not good enough, worry if your partner could meet someone better than you,  he or she fell out of love or stop loving you, or attracted to someone else.

3. Betrayal and humiliation

When someone comes into your life and let you leave everything you were doing or busy with and focus on them and suddenly drop you like a hot potato is traumatic. You feel betrayed humiliated and used. The truth about love or loving someone is that It could humiliate you, people these days do not think twice they do whatever is convenient for them without considering anyone's feelings or situation. Loving someone this day could be humiliating some people lack sympathy (narcissism). Someone will come into your life and tell you all the sweet and kind words, compliments and make you feel worthy, beautiful, sexy, attractive and intelligent. When that person changes or acts differently it makes you doubt everything he or she said about your, all the compliments, you feel stupid, ugly and bitter. You feel betrayed.

4. Trust issues and lies

The dishonest of your partner makes it hard for you to trust again even when you eventually find a trustworthy partner, it becomes so hard for you to trust again and to feel like that and at such a young age is not fair, at that age you need to be confident in your self,  working hard and making your dreams a reality.

5. Anger

You become so angry at your self asking yourself why did you believe the person, why did you act or behave the way you did in the relationship. You ask yourself why did you not focus on yourself and your goals and dreams and enjoy your teenage day without dating. You ask yourself why did you allow to be treated the way you were treated, why did you allow the person to disrespect you, to take away your peace of mind, why did you allow the person to use you, why did you allow the person to humiliate you, why did you allow the person to take you for a ride?

6. Fear

Living in fear once you start dating, you always fear of what could go wrong, what the other person could do that could hurt or humiliate you. You read or listen to other peoples stories and feel anxious and sad because you can not handle the fear of what would you do if that happens to you or if it's already happening in your relationship but you are not aware of it.

7. Dealing with a partner who does not have good values, morals and integrity

Having bad luck or dating someone with no good morals, values and integrity is the worst. Dating someone who does not care about his or her dignity impact your dignity. Dating someone who just does whatever he or she feels like doing without thinking about the consequences, puts you in a very bad position, you suffer because of someone's foolishness. Education, wealth, beauty is all useless if someone lacks values, morals and integrity.


8. Emotional damage 

Most of the teenagers you see pretending to be happy normal and in control of dating are suffering from emotional damage due to dating. Dating at a younger age affect your emotions and it is not easy to rise from that. The way the person used to be or feel before starting dating is not the same, most of them miss their old self and if they knew any better they would have stayed single until they are mature enough and have strong self-awareness, confidence, ability to stand their ground, achieved almost 80% of their goals and dreams, and in a better space in life I.e. graduated, working, a decent job built their profile and brand and good friends.

I have just summarized the reality of Mjolo the dating especially to the teenagers who do not feel comfortable discussing this with their parents or elders. I hope you get the picture of dating that few people are willing to share with teenagers, to help them not to repeat the same mistakes we made and make better decisions and choices than the previous generations. 

Written by Lisa Nqala



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Saturday, 8 January 2022

Dear Teen - The truth about dating - Dealing with the spirit of fear after the failed relationship

 After being heartbroken,  you become a victim of a spirit of fear. when you are in a new relationship or still single, you always try to find excuses or reasons to feel sad, worried or scared, you become a prison of fear, instead of enjoying the relationship, your mind always looks for things that will make you feel scared, you create stories in your mind that make you feel scared and have bad dreams because of your unconscious mind. You can not separate the red flag and fear due to bad experiences from your past relationships. Break up pain hit differently and it affects us in so many ways.

CHANGING PERCEPTION ABOUT RELATIONSHIP

Your past relationship had a lot to do with the current perception of the relationship trying to change that perception is too hard. If someone cheats on you it's so hard to believe that you can be in a relationship with someone who does not cheat or believe in cheating. If you have dated a closet gay it is so hard to believe that there are straight guys out there, If you were once played or used is so hard to get your mind out of that, it messes up with your mind. Dealing and healing the wounds from the previous relationship can be quite difficult and overwhelming. Give yourself enough time to heal your soul.

Before you (teen) even think of starting dating please take into consideration all these things and your dreams and goals, is it worth sacrificing your dreams and goals, the life you want when you are an adult?

Written by Lisa Nqala





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Friday, 7 January 2022

Dear Teen- The truth about dating - Failing to understand

When you really love someone and you fail to understand how could that person not feel the same way.
When a person makes it clear to you that he or she does not see the future with you and he or she does not want you to raise your hopes or invest in the relationship.
You look at this person and there is even nothing special about him or her you just love them unconditionally.
The saddest part is failing to understand or figure out, why?
You ask yourself how is it possible, how can you love someone so much and see the future with them but he or she does not feel the same way? 
You (teen) do not need that in your life right now, build your life then even if it happens later in your life, you will be in a better position to leave that situation, to see that he or she was not even worth it and you could have than better than that, and you are in the right position to find someone worthy and decent for you. You have your own things and you have created a better life for yourself.
Written by Lisa Nqala


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