Lisa Nqala

The blog is about being optimistic and being happy with what you have already achieved.

Sunday 1 November 2020


 Narcissists and gaslighters are the major contributors to many of the heartbreaks in relationships. Taking things slow and not giving too much early in the relationship gives you enough time to identify these kinds of situations.  They can hide or act for a short period of time but three months is too much for them to show their true colours, that is the whole aim of 90 days rules-to identify narcissist and gaslighting behavior. It saves you from putting too much pressure on yourself to prove a point to other people. You do things at your own pace and terms so even if it does not work out, you know you have not risked so much too early. 

They want to be in your life too quickly but they don't want to contribute anything to your future, they just want to be there to enjoy and to destroy and act like celebrities afterwards. They love and praises you too much too soon, too many promises too soon, if you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist you know what I am talking about. They promise you heaven and earth but deliver none. They make you feel like you are the best thing on earth and subsequently make you feel like the worse thing on earth and they drop you in the dust bin like trash without notice and they move on to the next victim.

They give you everything in the first few days or weeks or even months and you would even believe that God has answered your prayers and they suddenly become cold or distant and eventual ghost you and move on to the next victim. Their aim is always to destruct you, your peace, steal your joy and confidence. It is also the same as friendships, romantic relationships are not different from friendships. 

Narcissists love fame, to be seen or noticed, they always seek people's approval. They are not brave or confident but they always act brave and confident. Everything they do, they do it to cover up their lack of confidence, fear of being rejected and vulnerability. They fear shame to an extent that they would rather put shame on other people to cover up their ass. Narcissists are the worse miserable people on earth who act Okay to be approved by others. 

Written by Lisa Nqala


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