Lisa Nqala

The blog is about being optimistic and being happy with what you have already achieved.

Tuesday 3 November 2020


I have studied the patterns that position people including myself for an unnecessary heartbreak. Loving too much before getting to know a person. Taking a new relationship as an achievement or as a prize you have been waiting for a long time. Bragging too early about the relationship. Telling people about the relationship or advertising your relationship too early before you can even learn about the person. Giving too much too soon. Expecting to be validated by people who are also still struggling to validate and love themselves. Starving for love, or to be loved. Begging to be loved, respected, questioning the way you are being loved too soon, being too desperate to prove a point to ex-lovers.  Too desperate to keep a relationship to an extend you end up allowing yourself to be mistreated, lied to, treated as a second-best, losing friends and family members just to keep a toxic relationship. Starving to have a partner that you end up missing up on life, being robbed of your time to be chasing and fighting for your dreams and changing your life for a better. Missing out on the opportunities to be the best person you always wanted to be. 

Not having enough information about the narcissists and gas lighting. I did not know anything about the narcissists and gas lighting so I was not able to identify gas lighting or narcissist behavior early in the relationship. Me learning that there are people called narcissist and gas lighting behavior had made so much difference in my love life. I look back and realize things that I have overlooked, things I blamed myself for but were not my fault. 

Written by Lisa Nqala


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