I have studied the
patterns that position people including myself for an unnecessary heartbreak.
Loving too much before getting to know a person. Taking a new relationship as
an achievement or as a prize you have been waiting for a long time. Bragging
too early about the relationship. Telling people about the relationship or
advertising your relationship too early before you can even learn about the
person. Giving too much too soon. Expecting to be validated by people who are
also still struggling to validate and love themselves. Starving for love, or to
be loved. Begging to be loved, respected, questioning the way you are being
loved too soon, being too desperate to prove a point to ex-lovers. Too
desperate to keep a relationship to an extend you end up allowing yourself to
be mistreated, lied to, treated as a second-best, losing friends and family
members just to keep a toxic relationship. Starving to have a partner that you end up
missing up on life, being robbed of your time to be chasing
and fighting for your dreams and changing your life for a better. Missing out
on the opportunities to be the best person you always wanted to be.
Not having enough
information about the narcissists and gas lighting. I did not know anything
about the narcissists and gas lighting so I was not able to identify gas
lighting or narcissist behavior early in the relationship. Me learning that
there are people called narcissist and gas lighting behavior had made so much
difference in my love life. I look back and realize things that I have
overlooked, things I blamed myself for but were not my fault.
Written by Lisa Nqala
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