The Reason Behind Dear Teen Posts

The reason I started writing this post for teens is because of how I wish someone would have told me about these things when I was also a teenager.
I decided to be the one who is telling teenagers about these things since I did not get that opportunity.
Most of what I wrote is what I went through myself and what people around me went through as well.
The first time I went through a breakup, I was shattered, to think that I was not even in love with that person, it was just an attachment.
I asked myself how come no one has never said anything about this? I was so confused, that 's when I decide to be that person I needed when I was young.

Difference Between Teen Life And Adult Life (Dear Teen)

When you grow up as a young girl or boy, you worry so much about looks and your perception is that when you look cute, pretty or handsome you do not have any trouble or insecurities.

Once we get older we realize that looks and material things are not the cases at all. The real problem that we come across to is the matters of the heart, like heartache, loss of joy and chasing of happiness everywhere. We get to a point where we have almost all the material things that we wanted but still struggle to answer the questions such as, am I happy? Why I am not happy? Why am I feeling this way? Here I am talking about people who are holding degrees, driving fence cars, looking good on social media and in person.

Feelings become a real problem compare to our teenage stage where looks were the only real issue. We become a prison of our own though, we crucify our self by our past experience and fear of what could happen in the future. We miss the present just by worrying about the past and the future by doing so we make a lot of mistake in the present that would affect us in the future. For what I have learned living in the present is the way to go.

The break up journey - You are not ready - Dear teen#12

When you are dealing with the break up some time you will have that urge to prove a point to your previous partner.
You will want to be in a relationship so that you can prove to him or her that you are happy.
To prove that you can be loved
To prove that you can do better than them
To prove that you can upgrade

When you feel like that about the new relationship it means that you are still not ready.
When you are ready you will want to be in a relationship just to be happy not to prove a point to anyone.
Getting into a relationship just to prove a point to someone is a trap it will backfire and it will hit you hard and it will be too difficult to recover from it. You lose yourself.
Take all the time you need to heal from the break up until you are excited to be in love again without an urge to prove a point.

The break up journey - Accept The Messy - Dear Teen#13

It Okay to be Messy, to feel like your Life is a mess
It is Okay to have no answers
It is Okay to feel defeated
It is Okay to feel less and useless
It is Okay to feel Stuck
It is Okay to feel like you have reached the end
It is Okay to feel angry and to be sad
It is Okay to hit a rock bottom
You are a human being
It is so Okay to be a human being

It shows that you can still start over again
You can still be motivated again
You can be determined again
You can still fight again
You can still be happy again
You can still celebrate life again
You can still get to know yourself again

The break up journey - The bravery stage - Dear Teen#14

The last stage of the breakup
In this stage, you are tired of feeling the way you have been feeling.

In this stage : You get tired of feeling sorry for yourself
You get tired of being worried about yourself and your life
You get tired of being worried about what other people are saying or going to say
You get tired of fear
You get tired of giving
You get tired of being unappreciated
 You get tired of wasting your energy on this particular person
You develop a don't care attitude towards him/her because you know deep down inside  you have done everything to make it work.

You decide to give yourself the love that you have been giving others
You give yourself the unconditional love you been giving other people
You decide to give yourself the time and attention you have been giving others
You decide to give all your time and energy, efforts, determination, focus, attention to your goals
You decide to give yourself all the praise and worship you have been giving to other people
You love yourself and God more
You praise yourself and God more
You worship yourself and God  more
You give yourself and God more attention

The Point of no return (Break up stages) - Dear Teen

The point of no return
At this stage, you are 100 per cent ready to move on with your life
You are  feeling  powerful
You are  sure that you do not want to go back to pain
You are using your brain not your heart
The heart has given up

At this point, no amount of money, gift, love, begging, fear memories can change your mind
You are feeling in control of your life again
You are not angry anymore
You are not bitter you have found peace in your heart

At this stage, you are not ashamed of anything
You are relieved and free from fear and pain
You are confident about new relationships
You are not feeling like proving a point to anyone
You have found yourself again.

Journal with me -January 2018

It is a new year and everybody want to start something new.
The best way to start a new year for me is to be organised and also to keep in touch with my inner self. Journal-ling is the best way of being organised and ensuring that I achieved my daily goals and that I do not miss any deadlines or important appointments.
I have four journals.
The first one is
TODO LIST JOURNAL
I make a list of all appointments, deadlines, daily to-do list which I usually make a day before. A to-do list journal is a small journal that I keep in my bag and usually go with everywhere I go. I check me to do list journal in the morning, during the day and at night before I go to bed.T he second journal is
CONSCIOUSNESS JOURNAL
I used consciousness journal to clear my thoughts. I use it before I go to bed I write about everything that happened during the day, the good, the bad and the worse. Consciousness journal is more like an imaginary friend you tell everything about your life without being afraid of being judged. Consciousness journal also helps so much when you want to reflect in life.
 The Third and fourth
GRATITUDE JOURNAL
I use gratitude journal in the morning and before I go to bed to write everything I am thankful for. Gratitude is also the best way to thank God for everything that He has done for you. a gratitude journal helps you to be grateful and appreciate life because every day you have something you are grateful for. Gratitude helps you to be positive about life and be optimistic.
IDEAS AND CREATIVITY JOURNAL
I use this journal to write all my ideas, inspiration and creativity. I use it to write my ideas about my blog , studies , business , career  and projects.

Definition of myself

She believes in life even through the darkness.
She decided to rise above all the situation.
She was never afraid to walk alone.
Her passion was like a fire that never stops burning.

She was her self
She walked away
She walked away from people
She walked away from things
She walked away from  pain
She walked away from the world

She fell in love
She fell in love with herself
She was found
She was found by her self
She became more powerful
She was an example
A good example
She was unstoppable

She fell in love
She fell in love again
She fell in love with God
She got to know Him
She found a lifetime partner
God was her other half
She felt a different kind of love
It humbled her
She felt complete

She felt safe
The love from the Father was life itself
She became to know her worthy
She was covered by mercy and the grace
She could not remove herself from mercy and grace
She learned to love unconditionally
She learned to forgive

She has begun a new life
She embraced pain
She embraced disappointments
She embraced rejection
She embraced loneliness
She embraced her uniqueness
She embraced each and every day

She was eager to be different
She was eager to make changes for new generations to come
She was eager to be an example
Leaving a mark was all she lived for
She was once in a lifetime
She was special
To the few who noticed.

Team Keep Calm And Fight A Good Fight, Fight For Your Dreams Campain

What is team keep calm and fight a good fight, fight for your dreams campaign?

Team keep calm and fight a good fight, fight for your dreams campaign is a campaign  I have started that aim to encourage  young people especially those from disadvantaged background to have goals, to have a vision for their lives, to dream big, to be a go-getters, to aim high and work harder for their dreams. The campaign emphases more on fighting for your dreams, meaning never give up or be discouraged. There are many distractions, negativity, uncertainty along the way, that is why it so important to choose your battle when you want to succeed in life, some things are not worthy of fighting for. Fight for your goals, fight for your dreams,  Keep Calm And Trust God. When you know what you want in life you always separate yourself from things that you do not want. 

When The Heart is Broken - It Must Be Fixed

Unfortunately, there is no manual for fixing a broken heart, there is no prescription or medication for a broken heart. Your mother, father, sisters, friends etc cannot fix your broken heart. Your career,  your money can also not fix your broken heart. When you are living in this world you have the price to pay, you have to go through heartbreaking moments in life. No one escape, even the ones who think they know everything (Miss/Mr. know it all) is not safe.

When your heart is broken stop acting like a hero, attend to your heart, fix yourself first, nothing is dangerous than a broken-hearted individual.

When your heart is broken you cannot help anybody 

When your heart is broken you cannot give love to anybody because you cannot even give  it to yourself

When your heart is broken you cannot motivate anyone because you need motivation yourself

When your heart is broken you cannot start anything new because you are drained and feeling hopeless

When your heart is broken you cannot be all over the place, stand still and trust the process

When your heart is broken you cannot teach

When your heart is broken you cannot  please anyone

When your heart is broken you cannot see the future

When your heart is broken you do not believe in love and kindness.

WHEN YOUR HEART IS BROKEN YOU FEEL LOST IN THE DARK

When your heart is broken it must be fixed, time heals a broken heart

What you do and say when you are broken allows time to heal you effectively.
Watch carefully what you do and say while you are dealing with a broken heart.
Denial will destroy you, accept the pain and deal with it,

Once your heart has been fixed you had something to say, you start telling your story, you become a story.

Once your heart has been healed you become an inspiration

Once your heart has been healed you become a teacher in life.

Once your heart has been healed you become a role model

Once your heart has been healed you become more powerful

Once your heart has been healed you start doing things for yourself, not trying to impress anyone.

Once your heart has been healed you appreciate life, you appreciate kindness, you appreciate Love.

Once your heart has been healed you rely on yourself for your happiness.

A healed heart creates a better person and a better life.

A broken heart leads you to your inner self and improves your inner self.

A happy soul

A happy soul trust in God. A happy soul believes that no weapon formed against him/her shall prosper. 

A happy Soul is a dreamer and a doer. A happy soul believes in hard work. A happy soul celebrates success. A happy soul is grateful, he/she looks back at life and say thank you - to people who helped him/her to be where he/she is and thanks, God. A happy soul has a good relationship with his/her family, friends and people around him/her. A happy soul organizes his/her life every day. A happy soul keeps on improving and developing him/herself. A happy soul ignores haters and keeps on moving. A happy soul celebrates other people's success. 

A happy soul does not underestimate or overestimate him/her self. A happy soul accepts that he/she is not perfect. A happy soul is independent. A happy soul is dedicated him/herself to something worth doing. A happy soul creates his/her happiness. A happy soul fight for his/her dream. A happy soul refuses to be taken for granted.

A happy soul forgives and moves on. A happy soul has role models. A happy soul writes down his/her goals. A happy soul ignores dramatic people. A happy soul appreciates nature.

Written by Lisa Nqala